Racing
So you can find your edge
Since starting this newsletter, I’ve wondered if I should race more so I can feel more authoritative about the thing that seems to motivate most people. I’ve decided that I should, and I have: two races this fall. I’m not going to make racing the center of my running discipline, but it was nice to see how different races draw different crowds, and how racing has changed since I was young.
In the first race I ran this fall, I was nervous. It was a trail run, and trails out here in the West are very different from the trails I grew up on in Georgia. Trails here are dusty and exposed; trails in the East are muddy and enclosed by forest. I have to admit: I like the ones back East more, even with the humidity.
The trail race was not my crowd. It was small and local, but the crowd was outdoors-y and sporty. There was a DJ blasting NuMetal trax. There was a giant clock, but I had to log on to a website (creating yet another username and password! fun!) to find out my time and place.* I had a terrible race. I started terrible; I felt terrible during, and I finished feeling both tired and like I hadn’t tried hard enough.
The second race I ran in, by contrast, felt like a bunch of people who got up in the morning and came to the site to just get their run in that day. There was a local coffee shop and representatives from the non-profit that takes care of the park plants where the race started. There were some donuts from another local place. The clock was not giant, and I didn’t hear a starting gun, but I felt really good as I took my first steps. I followed my own advice and ran a little bit faster than comfortable, and I’m happy with my effort. I don’t know what my time and place was, and it doesn’t matter.
What matters is that I felt like I could show up as myself and focus on trying to find my edge, my little bit faster than comfortable. That contrasts with the first race, where the trail running culture distracted from my focus.
So on the other side of my super-busy (kidding) fall race season, what I’ve learned is how important it is to find the races and, by extension, run clubs that fit who you are and the runner you want to be for the moment of life that you’re in.
At this point, I’m a very intense, personally competitive runner, but my intensity doesn’t have an external component. When I’m in a scene where that’s overtly competitive, I’m turned off. When the competitiveness is all mine to bring, I feel comfortable. If the latter resonates with you, welcome to Stoic Running: that’s kind of the vibe here! And if you thrive on group competition, go forth: there many, many races and clubs waiting for you.
And if you’re not sure what your race or club personality is, or if you feel like you’re in a transition, don’t be turned off if your first few club and race walk ups leave you a little cold; keep trying them out, because I guarantee there’s a group out there for you. So wherever you are and whatever your race personality is right now, in this moment of your life, remember: go run.
*I got second in my age category, third woman over all, for those who are curious.